Meanwhile, stuff has changed. I still feel a little bit like how I felt before my last visit to Romania in July this year (article about that here) but time surely changes things. To be honest, the only reasons I want to go back to Bucharest are my family and my friend. Yeah, you read it right, unfortunately it seems that I only have one friend left back home whom I can trust and whom I care about and I do that although he’s a bad ass ugly bastard. Other than that, I have all the reasons in the world to want to stay in Aarhus. I even got a double, 140cm wide double bed now so…

Comparing to last year, August – December 2009 was a lot better. I went out, I made friends, socialized, worked, programmed, made friends and learned how to live life at its fullest. I’ve learned to appreciate the simplest things in live and see good where there’s bad. This was about to cost me during the work upon the last project but since I promised to keep my mouth shut in regards to it, I will keep my word.

I’m 4 days away from being home now and I’m still wondering what to do till then. I am also wondering what to do in Romania but I can safely assume that my schedule is going to be easy to fill. Come to think about it, the first thing on my agenda starting now is a drinking session on my return to Aarhus on the 7th of January lol.

Last but not least, I would like to say that I hope you all passed your projects, exams and so on with high grades (or handed them in on time) and have a happy week until the Merry Christmas that is about to come! Oh, and if we haven’t spoken about this already or haven’t settled for anything and you want to meet for a mulled wine/beer/coffee/pool game, just drop me a line somewhere because maybe, just maybe, we can go out. Victor.. Out!

You might be wondering what’s the deal with the Anathema wanna-be quote in the title. If you want to find out the answer to that question, don’t worry, you won’t find it here. Not fully, anyway.

One of the best decisions one can make during his online interaction with other people is logging (archiving) all the small bits and talks with other people. When enough time passes by and you get to read those, it is easier for you to realize how you and the interlocutor have changed throughout a period of time. As lame as it may sound, it might be one of the few available sources for your own personal development: realize how you were like, admit who you are at the moment and define what your future destination is.

Life gives most people equal chances, you just have to realize when it is the time to take advantage of them. And I won’t miss them, that’s for sure. I just have to make up my mind: which way do I want to go? To the south or to the east?

I don’t know about you guys, but this is how it goes out for me: I make a mistake, I suffer the consequences, I transfer my point of view from subjective to objective, promise myself that I will take care from that point on, time passes by and I’m back to square one, forgetting about the mistake I had done and I attempt to take another shot at the same action, hoping for a miracle. It never happens though.

Whenever you lose someone you care about forever (as in passing away), you promise yourself that from that day on, you will always show the people you care about just how much you love them. And you do that, for a while. You actually are a better person who shows his affection the way he should have always done. But then… You forget. You forget how it all started, forget to talk the nice way you used to talk, forget to notice all the signs that you should notice and all you are left with are the regrets. Regrets that maybe somehow, someway, you could have done something about it.

I know I have said that life is funny or boring but I love life. I love breathing, eating, drinking, loving and struggling to wake up in the morning to go to school. My love towards life is tending to be on a downward path for the past year though. Don’t receive that sentence as a suicidal one ffs, I’m just saying that being alone is not really something that you should be looking for in this life.

Perceive this any way you want: Value the people you love, cherish the ones that love you and don’t miss any day of your life cause.. well, you know.. life’s too short to spend it alone.

Note: no, noone died, I didn’t lose anyone, no break-up, no fights with friends or anything what-so-ever. Just midnight thoughts.

As far as I could tell so far, the Danes tend to comply with this set of rules and have the following approach towards life: I work my ass off for the following 9 months, I can go on a holiday later and then I do it all over again. Well, I don’t criticise them, each country with their own attitude and ideas. I can bet that Romanians have a similar way of doing it but to a smaller scale (going to the Romanian mountain or to the Romanian sea-side). If you take most of the European nations, they all have almost the same approach but then again..

I want a different life. I want to be able to choose what I am going to do the following day: either have a perfectly scheduled day or nothing what-so-ever in my agenda. I want a life that offers me stability but still surprises me in a nice way each and every day. I crave for the moment where life will be more intriguing, a moment when I can say: “Wow mate, so much has happened I don’t even know where to start telling you about it”. The kind of life I have had in Romania for at least a couple of days. I guess I miss meeting total strangers and speaking with them about certain topics which don’t include one of the following words: Romania, Denmark, Aarhus, Skole, Kollegiet, Party in number…, Skjoldhoj, Brugsen, Going Home etc.

I also miss watching good movies that don’t get me falling asleep after 10 minutes. I miss watching Seinfeld, Supernatural, Married with Children, House, Survivor, The Amazing Race, True Blood, CSI, etc etc etc for the first time. I actually think that I miss the moments when I used to say: “This might be the most interesting TV discovery I have recently made! And we all know that watching something for the second time is never the same…

Even the internet is boring. I managed to actually feel like I have visited the entire internet. Yeah, it’s all dynamic and stuff but I kinda quit reading news websites since the moment you could see Michael Jackson’s name everywhere. I also feel sorry about him but I really didn’t care to find out any details about his memorial service and who performed over there. I feel like I have played every existing flash game there is (especially the ones about parking your car) and I have become a master in Tetris on my Motorola phone. I have never been defeated on it. When I was waiting for the Finnair from Bucharest to Helsinki I actually had to quit on purpose just so I could get on the plane, ffs.

And on top of that, I feel stranded. I feel like my hands are tied in performing any action that would eventually satisfy me on any level: social or personal. For some strange reason, I feel like I will never be able to cut the connection to my home country no matter how far I would go away from it. And that’s simply because every now and then I realise that there still are persons I still care about over there whom I can’t simply cut the contact with, just like that.

There is a saying: If you get into a shit, at least get into it fully. I am not sure I am ready to do that yet. I just need to take a very deep breath before and realise what I enjoy most: the shit I’m half way into or the air my other half is standing in.

Life is funny because you are mostly judged by people whom you don’t give a crap about. The kind of people who always know what is good for you and what is not but never really got a chance to know you the way you really are. This is my favorite part of gossiping: People talking about other people and commenting upon their actions although they can’t understand the circumstance the person they are talking about is situated in.

I have hurt a lot of people in the year that has passed and I don’t feel bad at all for any choice that I have made, no matter whom I hurt, how, when or where. It’s funny though that it took me a whole Danish year to become almost completely selfish.

I do know however that I have never hurt anyone the same way that I was hurt myself so you should all be grateful for that. Funny, ey?

The reason I am writing this post is that I think that I have finally figured out how people evolve in front of my own eyes. First of all, don’t feel pointed at by this post just because. You might be but just don’t do it.

Literally, my perception about someone can not get better in any time but only worse. If you are lucky, chances are that 2 months after I first met you, I still think you are a nice person. There is no way to make me feel better about you no matter how hard you try. I have also realized that no matter how bad my opinion is about someone, it can still get worse. Therefore, if we are to make an coordinate system about my opinion towards anyone, it is either a flatline or a downwarding slope. Simply accept it.

Riiight so since we’ve got this thing clarified, is there any particular topic that one of my 3 readers wants to discuss with me?

And to finish this article in a funny way, let me tell you a very short story about last night. We went to the city centre with a friend to help her carry a package that she was due to receive from Romania by truck. When we got there, we found out that the bus was going to be late but the amount of Romanians there was huge. Just check this picture out and you’ll figure out what I mean when I’m saying that this is only a quarter of the Romanians studying in Aarhus at the moment (there are actually around 10 other people who didn’t fit in the picture but then again, the number is still high):

Problem delimitation
I have the following problem: I am willing to give my full support to anyone if I feel like they deserve it. Unfortunately for a large amount of individuals, at the slightest sign of failure of communication I am going to refrain from helping them.

There were times when I used to say “Trust noone but yourself”. Times have change though, I realised that I have a few friends (literally, “few”) and that we will be helping eachother no matter what happens or how far away we might be. Therefore, I have changed my motto to “Trust everyone but count only on a few persons in life” and I am willing to go all the way with it, no matter what.

“What the hell are you talking about?”
I honestly have no idea where the idea of this article started from and I have no idea where it’s going to. I just want to make you, the reader, acknowledge who your friends are and to value them as much as possible. Be careful though, don’t go in too deep unless you are 100% sure about their attitude towards you. There are few things more painful in life than being back stabbed by someone who you thought was a friend of yours.

How do I do it?
I simply don’t do it. Except my family, there might be at most 4 or 5 persons in the entire world (literally, again) whom I can trust with my life. Don’t get a bad impression about me and my attitude towards the people I know: I am willing to have new friends… it’s just that sometimes you win a friend but lose another one (I won one friend and lost around 10 in the past year but that’s a completely different story). It’s all a huge vicious circle, very hard to get out of.

Conclusion
Bottom line: Trust is something which should be offered after a period of time. Never start with the assumption that the person next to you is not worthy of your trust; just try to be more reluctant into giving it and everything will be OK if you consider the only 2 outcomes this attitude could have:

• That person is NOT worthy of your trust(to be your friend). You haven’t given him trust so you didn’t lose anything. No pains, no worries.
• That person is worthy of your trust and after some period of time you realize that the two of you are friend. Everything is alright so enjoy each others company.

The end. If you didn’t understand anything, it’s all because of my tiredness.